This was an extremely challenging piece to create. A two-year long struggle. It wasn't a struggle of hand to paint as much as it was a struggle with many mental blocks to overcome, a path to a choose forgiving the unforgiveable, and breaking through a fear barrier.
There is a story to this painting. A story of hope. A story of light piercing the darkness. An offering of peace brought to a woman desperate to recieve peace and regain a wholeness that she lost or perhaps a newfound wholeness to be grasped.
The wind sweeps through her hair, tears her away from the grips of despair and guides her towards the light. Towards new promises. All she has to do is open her hand and recieve this gift. It come freely, but must be recieved and held onto if she wishes to be permanently removed from the entrapping darkness.
This is a commissioned painting that I did for my sister who had lost her son to suicide.
I don't think her son wanted to hurt her or any of his family members.
It affected me too. His act was too permanent and left everyone around him in shambles. It changed me. Made me hypersensitive, over protective, and over reactive to my own kids for quite some time afterwards.
The title is one that my sister suggested.
The painting depicts a moment she had with a hummingbird. A moment with God who used a hummingbird to relay a message. A message of peace. A chance to grab hold of a new beginning. A moment where she came to releasing her son, a moment of no longer blaming herself, and being able to say, It is well with my soul.
If you are someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts talk to someone right away. Don't act on those thoughts. Get help. There are solutions to your problems and you are not alone. People do care.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number 1-800-273-8255
September 9th, 2017
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